Thinking Correctly Under Pressure

Thinking Correctly Under Pressure – or T-CUP – was popularized by Sir Clive Woodward the former England Rugby Union head coach.  He spoke often about big moments in sport, and that those competitors who could master T-CUP were the difference makers. I wrote about his thoughts on this subject in my Best Selling award winning book The Vital Edge.  Check it out for more, on this, and other fascinating lessons from sport.

One of the most dramatic examples of what he was getting at (although it seems that his misunderstanding of basketball rules meant his example was actually wrongly described) is demonstrated in a brilliant clip of the final second of a basketball game between two U.S. College teams.  The scores were tied at 88 apiece in overtime, with only 0.6 seconds left on the clock, when one of the teams was awarded two free throws. The first free throw was successful, making the score 89-88, with one throw remaining. Now, this should have been the game won.  All the team that was in the lead by a point had to do was, either score the second free throw, or ensure that the remaining 0.6 seconds were quickly eaten up should they miss.

One hugely alert member of the defending team, Jordan Snipes, had other ideas, and demonstrated a phenomenal level of T-CUP.  The ball rebounded from the rim of the basket, allowing our super alert player, Snipes, to capture the ball and hurl it the full length of the court, all in one motion. The rules of basketball are such that, even if the end of game buzzer sounds, the game does not end until a ball that is in the air hits the ground. The ball in this moment travelled over 85 feet and landed on the court, after passing cleanly through the basket at the other end of the court for a 3 point score, meaning his team had won 91-89.

“The Shot” is widely considered one of the greatest in NCAA history. The result was turned on its head in an instant by the clear thinking of one player who anticipated the ball rebounding from the rim, and knew exactly what he had to do as soon as he recovered possession of the ball.  It was a thoroughly compelling moment.  I urge you to watch this video as it is one of those moments in sport that is fascinating, magical and tragic all in the same split second.

I suspect the thrower was giving absolutely no thought whatsoever to the possibility of what was about to unfold, just a second later.  His teammates and coach did not step in and whisper any instruction either, so we must assume they too had no premonition of the imminent turnaround that was about to happen.  I imagine the thrower was preparing to enjoy the sweet scent of victory. Mentally, he had already crossed the finishing line. His previous throw, had surely sealed the deal, and this second throw was simply ceremonial. It was the cherry on top and he was about to embrace his teammates in a dance of celebration.  Instead, as you can see from the video, he and his teammates stand around in disbelief, and it is Snipes, and his team, who explode into wild celebration.

A great moment in sport, I’m sure you will agree. But how often does it take T-CUP in big moments to produce them.  What big T-CUP moments do you recall, whether in sport, or elsewhere in your life?  Feel free to share any T-CUP moments in the comments below. I’d love to hear about them.

 

Finding Control Amidst Ongoing Crises

I recently told someone that I was not engaging in viewing much news right now.  The 24/7 nature of war reporting, allied with the negative bombardment of horrific images through social media, with the constant doubt about validity and truth, meant that I was becoming consumed by the sheer volume of information. Rather than feeling informed, I felt overwhelmed, if not traumatised.
Their response was that this decision to ‘look away’, while the world burned, was exactly what the warlords would wish us to do. To hide our heads in the sand, look the other way, and let them get on with destruction, killing and lawlessness with impunity.

This is certainly a powerful argument, and it got me thinking.
Does me (little old me) not looking at all the reports coming out of Iran and surrounding countries, mean that I am not concerned?  No.
Does it mean I am not interested in the geopolitics of Ukraine, or the prospects for finding a way out, and to finding a path to peace?  No.
Am I somehow betraying, or turning my back on people’s suffering in Palestine, by not consuming as much information as is humanly possible to consume?  I don’t think so.

I believe that there is a confusion in our brain about the role of “Control”.  When bad things happen, it is natural for people to look at what they can control?  We don’t like loss  of control. Grasping for control is ultimately linked to our desire for survival. “If I lose control, I might die!”   That may sound extreme, but deep down in our belief systems, that fear lurks.
Now, some might feel that one way to regain control of a situation that they can do nothing about, is to read as much, watch as much, or listen to as much news as they can.  It is not clear how that gives more control, but it may satisfy a part of the fear centre in our brain, that we are, at least, staying informed, allowing us to rail against all the bad things happening.

Others may occupy a position, from which they  feel control is better preserved or protected, by “choosing” what, when, and how much, they consume. By rejecting 24/7 coverage.  By treating social media coverage sceptically. By being selective about what one consumes, and when, helps some individuals take back control.

This strategy may also ensure that the deluge of bad news does not dominate our attention, allowing us to carry on with everyday tasks, activities or hobbies, and helping us to maintain a sense of control and autonomy in a world that, too often, leaves us feeling helpless.

Where does your attention move to when you feel a loss of control?

The Power of “Why”

The Power of “Why”: A Child’s Innocence vs. an Adult’s Judgment

Introduction

The word “why” carries a profound weight in the realm of language. When spoken by a child, it evokes a sense of innocence, curiosity, and wonderment. But when uttered by an adult, it can take on a very different meaning, often laden with judgment or even challenge. This contrast between a child’s pure inquiry and an adult’s potentially loaded question is not just about language—it’s about the emotional and social layers we accumulate as we grow. As coaches, we are often taught to avoid using “why” for fear of its negative connotations. But I wonder—are we missing something? Could we harness the innocence and open-mindedness of a child’s “why” to unlock deeper conversations and understanding?


A Child’s “Why”: Innocence, Curiosity, and Genuine Learning

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I recently watched my granddaughter as she asked the simple question, “Why?” Her eyes were wide with curiosity, her head tilted slightly in wonder. There was no judgment in her tone, no hidden motive behind her inquiry—just a genuine, honest desire to understand the world around her.

For children, “why” is a tool for learning. It’s a gateway to understanding, a way to explore the world without preconceptions. They ask because they want to know more, because they are listening and absorbing new information. The innocence in the way children ask questions is remarkable. It is free of judgment or skepticism. When a child asks, “Why?” it’s a pure invitation to share knowledge.


An Adult’s “Why”: Challenge, Judgment, and Emotional Layers

Contrast this with when an adult uses the word “why.” Suddenly, it feels different. When an adult asks “why,” it can carry an edge of challenge or disagreement. The question may seem like a critique of decisions or opinions, and it often leaves us feeling defensive.

As adults, we have been shaped by our experiences and social contexts. Our language carries with it layers of history, emotions, and assumptions. When we ask “why,” it may not always come from a place of curiosity. Instead, it might be wrapped in judgment, skepticism, or even the desire to question someone’s motivations. This can make the question feel confrontational rather than open.

As a coach, I’ve been encouraged to avoid using “why” because of these emotional connotations. Instead, we are encouraged to ask open-ended questions that don’t feel as loaded. This approach makes sense in many contexts—it creates a safer space for communication, allowing the other person to feel heard without feeling challenged.


Could We Reclaim the Power of “Why”?

But here’s where I start to wonder—are we missing something by avoiding the word “why”? Is it possible to reclaim the innocence and openness that children bring to this question?

What if we could use “why” in a way that mimics the approach of a child—genuine, non-judgmental, and full of curiosity? If we could ask “why” with an open mind, with the intention to learn rather than to challenge, perhaps it could foster deeper, more authentic connections.

By harnessing the child-like innocence of “why,” we could ask the question in a way that encourages open dialogue and invites exploration. Instead of feeling defensive, the person being asked could feel supported in sharing their thoughts and emotions, knowing that the question is coming from a place of understanding rather than judgment.

As coaches, we encourage growth, exploration, and self-awareness. We seek to help others reach their fullest potential. And perhaps by integrating a more childlike approach to asking “why,” we can create an environment where curiosity reigns, and judgment takes a back seat.


Conclusion

The word “why” holds immense power, but its meaning changes depending on the intention behind it. When children use it, it’s a simple, pure tool for learning. When adults use it, it often carries emotional weight and judgment. As coaches and communicators, it’s essential to understand this dynamic—and to consider whether we can reclaim the innocence and openness of a child’s “why” to foster deeper, more compassionate conversations. By doing so, we may just unlock the full potential of this simple, yet powerful question.

If you feel that you or members of your management team could benefit from exploring areas that can make substantial improvements to your personal and collective effectiveness and productivity, please do get in touch. Simply submit your contact details on the Contact Us page and I will be delighted to get in touch with you for an informal initial chat.

The Present Serves us Well

I have followed Andy Murray’s career, and his emotional journey, since he first burst onto the scene as a gangly teenager. This year will be his last as a professional tennis player, and he will leave behind so many great stories, and great lessons, and not just relating to Tennis. I am leaving this previous post here, as I think it is still hugely relevant, and I want to thank Andy for all the entertainment, thrills and sheer drama, he has served up over all these years.

Recognise the fact that the past is past, and that soon you won’t have any future left – so you really might as well be here. It’s not so bad. Often enough, it’s wonderful. And in any case, there’s nowhere else to be.”   Oliver Burkeman

Reconsidering Flow

“I really enjoyed being in that zone. Each moment of flow is quite addictive because it’s such an incredible place to be. You are just in the moment, just focusing on what you’re doing right now.” Christian Meier

Over the years I have written a number of articles on Flow. See this article from 2013. But, like a number of psychological concepts, it can often be elusive to pin down. Some of my clients get it right away and will rattle off experiences where they are sure they experience it. Others, however, clearly feel no connection, and wonder, in puzzlement, at how difficult situations, and even mildly painful moments, can result in flow.

Whenever I read of an account where someone tries to explain their experience of flow, I like to capture it as an addition to the body of examples. You never know which ones will land for people. This one struck me as interesting. Christian Meier describes what it means to him.

He speaks about his time as a domestique in a Grand Tour cycling team, where his role was never to win, but to be in the service of others. This demanded that he endure pain and discomfort, with no expectation of personal glory. Most people would describe this as “suffering in order to help others”, although Christian rejects the word “suffering”, preferring to think of himself as being in control of what he is doing, regulating the level of personal sacrifice he is prepared to endure. His journey from Grand Tour cycling to Ultra-running is fascinating, and along the way he offers some great insights into what it means for him to be in flow.

He characterizes the feelings he has experienced as being addictive. We don’t all have to be elite athletes or adrenaline junkies to know what that feeling is like. Indeed, meditation, yoga, and other similarly ‘mindful’ practices, generate a sense of calm, being in the moment, focusing on the present, and attending only to the here and now.

Have a read at what Christian has to say in the attached article. I’d be fascinated to hear your insights and what experiences you have had with the state of Flow?

Coaching and the Hero’s Journey via T.S. Elliot

“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” 

As someone who has been using the Hero’s Journey for several years with groups of young people, this quote by T.S. Elliot hit me like a bolt, and in one simple sentence summed up for me what it means to arrive back in our “Ordinary World” but with everything changed.

Going round the cycle, and getting your head around what it means to arrive back, so that you are different, what you feel and think is different, and those around you are different, can be stretching for many of us.

I will, in the future, invoke T.S.Elliot to help shed some light on the wonder of the journey.

Investing in People

Reading an article in The Scottish Review this week reminded me of some organisations’ baffling approach to learning, growth and development of their people. It may seem obvious to most readers of this post that investing in the ongoing growth and development of your people is a ‘no-brainer’. However, it is sadly not always the case, and too many firms, institutions and businesses scrimp on people and their learning, until demands are forced upon them, whereupon it may be too late.

Dr Mary Brown’s son asked his company for training over a long period of time but all requests were met with stony silence. On securing a post with another company, which did place training of its staff as a high priority, his current employer suddenly sprang into action and offered him inducements to stay. It was too late. He left.

But this is not unusual. Too many managers see training and development as a luxury ‘add-on’, rather than an essential part of every successful organisation’s strategy. A rapidly growing proportion of the younger generation entering the workforce place training, continuous learning and coaching even higher than starting salary, when it comes to what attracts them to new job opportunities.

A backward thinking manager once said to their colleague,

“But we can’t throw all that expensive training at them. What if they take it all, learn all this new stuff, and then decide to up and leave?”

The wise colleague said, “Maybe! But just think how much more worrying it would be if you don’t, and they stay?”

Flipping the Question (or searching for where the real learning lies).

An interesting breakthrough moment happened for one of my clients this week. I thought I would share some of it with you (while maintaining confidentiality obviously).

She and her team work closely with young men in custody. Their job essentially is youth engagement and preparation for release. A problem occurred with the team’s contract renewal, resulting in a great deal of uncertainty and anxiety among team members. I asked my client what she wanted to focus on in our session. She said she wanted to explore how she could provide them with reassurance about their jobs and the ongoing work they all did, as she was sure that the issue would get resolved.

I rephrased the question somewhat, and asked again, what she ‘really’ wanted. I followed up by asking what she was really hoping for, what a successful outcome would be, what that would mean for the young men in prison, and what learning opportunities might be created. The more she played with and examined the dilemma that she and her team faced, the more she started to see it from the point of view of their client base.

Her stream of consciousness went something like this. “The young men in custody experience uncertainty and anxiety every day, so perhaps her team could learn something from them. But that would require them to display some vulnerability to the young men, to share the fact that they are experiencing concerns. Is that allowed? Is that professional? Perhaps it would be good for them to see that people ‘on the outside’, and who are employed, are also experiencing volatility and a feeling of lack of control around their lives. Perhaps it would be empowering to be asked about how they have developed strategies for coping in difficult situations. After all, she knows that some of the young men she has worked with have remarkable resilience, are street-wise, know how to negotiate, have developed qualities like patience and tolerance.” Continue reading →

Words matter. Time or Space?

Time is only a luxury when you perceive yourself to be time poor. People with fast lives and rich tastes can often be heard bemoaning their lack of time. For others, time can drag. Time plays tricks in the way it bends and slows.

This fact hits home most powerfully when I visit prison. My work regularly takes me inside prisons to meet young men who have been unlucky enough to find themselves on the wrong side of the law. There is a distinct absence of watches and clocks inside prison. Prisoners perceive time according to the establishment’s regime. Wake up, shower, medication, work, association, visits, meal time, bang up. These events punctuate the day, and provide the assuring rhythm that time is indeed passing. When I walk through a prison, whether on the landings, wings or yards, it is not unusual to be asked, “What time is it, sir?”. It is clear that they are hoping it is later than it really is. Continue reading →

7 Keys to Neuroplasticity in Coaching

Pattern Disruption. The key to great coaching. Excellent post here from Ann.

annbetz's avataryourcoachingbrain

Neuroplasticity–the brain’s ability to grow and change–is fundamental to the power and possibility of coaching. As coaches, we help our clients recognize old, unhelpful patterns and “rewire” our systems for the sort of personal and professional accomplishments, impact and fulfillment they desire. As coaches, there are (at least) seven key things critical for coaching to have a maximum impact. Many of these you may already be doing as a coach, others you may want to bring into a more intentional focus in order to make your coaching even likelier to help your clients grow and change.

1. Relationships

We learn and change best in safe, supportive relationships. Feeling socially connected diminishes stress and can even reduce inflammation, while feeling judged or “less than” others can create fight or flight responses in the brain which inhibit learning. Additionally, when we feel we are being heard and understood, it increases the connective…

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